A Fork On The Road

You might have thought of taking that particular direction when the sign board read ‘Take a right’. But that ‘something’ made you choose the other lane. You presumed that there was someone waiting there. Well, you hoped that it was your right path and had your heart miserably pierced. And when it was all still like stagnant water… there was this certain kind of feeling that chased you and you found yourself lost because you had walked too long, way too ahead of those haunting of the past that kept following you everywhere. You turned to see the dark and shivered to have reached a place where your own self conscious dreaded to whisper to you because it knew that the truth was too loud for you to withstand. Yet you stayed strong. Strong enough to listen to it murmur in your ears, “It’s gone.” (Inspiration)

As a little kid I always feared (not disliked, FEARED!) to go to school on those days when my dad had to rush to office early. The mere thought of my grandpa dropping me to school sent shivers through my spine. He was someone who would never talk whilst the whole stretch to school and I would walk without even daring to lift my eyes to see the seriousness his face possessed. After he would leave me in a place from where it was alright for me to walk to school, “Don’t you turn back and see.”, would be his words that still echo deep into me. This was how it was every time he dropped me.

“Why shouldn't I turn back? What is going to happen if I do? Did he say so simply because he didn't want me to spot him smoking? Or was there something else?”, I pondered forever.
Will I ever get an answer to these questions? Yes? No?
Or maybe I already have the answer with me.

My grandpa wanted to tell me this:
What you will see behind is what has left you. If only you turned back to see what is walking the other way, you would stare too long to feel for the 'going' or rather the 'gone' and would not realize that where you need to head to now is on the opposite way. Everyone has a past and no one gets to the present without one.

The worst version of agony that captivates you is when you think about how it was ‘then’ and how it is ‘now’. Would you wish to turn back to see? The choice is yours.

I wish it rained! I like the feeling the rain brings along with it that lightens the weight of my heart… 

-Suha

*Image sketched by Manasa C (: